Pants are Complete Bullshit, as If You Didn’t Already Know

Pants are Complete Bullshit, as If You Didn’t Already Know

You laugh, but you know it’s true. Get your Pants Are Bullshit T-Shirt to make people smile, because everyone can relate. The heart of humor is that it touches on a truth that most people identify with. Life is best when you’re comfortable, is it not? The single most binding universal article of clothing that causes discomfort, pinching, binding, and other bulls!#t is the pant.

5 reasons pants are bullshit, though there are more

It’s fun to wear a funny t-shirt. You can give people around you a lift. You can even have conversations with friendly strangers about the shirt's humor. It is not fun to wear funny pants, and you know why? Because pants are bulls!#t. The following are many reasons why, but surely you already know:

  • The need to wear belts - or, in the nerd world, suspenders - tells you a lot about pants. They are the worst of all accessories. If they’re necessary to keep your pants from literally falling down, that sucks, too. Since pants are what make belts necessary, they are to blame for the way belts are unreliable. If you wear the belt frequently, it can crack and break. The holes can stretch out. Belts as a general rule do not breathe. They are the worst.
  • The bulls!#t on the other end of the pant is the length or hem. You have to be a certain height in a certain size for the pants to fit correctly. Otherwise, hemming the pants becomes necessary. Hemming can mess up all kinds of fabrics and styles. And what about tall people? How difficult is it for them to find pants that are long enough? It’s all bulls!#t.
  • No other article of clothing can make you literally feel as though it is silently judging you. The pressure applied by your pants after overeating is why you unsnap them whenever possible and remove them at the drop of a hat, whenever you think you can get away with it.
  • Underwear or panties can interfere with your pants. Certain pants require certain underthings. This is utter bulls!#t.
  • The overall restriction caused by pants is ridiculous. This is a garment that needs to be replaced. Problems include too tight at the crotch, too bunchy at the knees, and the inability to breathe in bulls!#t pants.

A rant in 3 words

There is so much that could be said in support of the moot argument that pants are bulls!#t. Get the Pants are Bullshit T-Shirt and let the world laugh with you about your most hated article of clothing today.

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