Winning Arguments Feels Damn Good

Life can be a big boring cycle of same-old things. The best way to kick the doldrums out of my existence is to win an argument. I did a Google search on my euphoric state that followed a recent heated debate in which I clearly came out the winner, and I was shocked. All sorts of things are great for a release of happy endorphins, like jogging and other kinds of exercise. But no one linked happy hormones to winning arguments. In fact, I found that quite a few so-called psychologist types and experts on “living triumphantly” do not buy into my philosophy in any way, shape, or form. Who are they kidding? Because who doesn’t get a thrill from arguing so badass they leave the other person in a state of clear defeat? Check out this crap:

“Winning an Argument? No Such Thing!” HA!

One joker who I won’t give the benefit of naming literally thinks that if you even view an argument as something to win or lose, you’re already a loser. Some crap about damaging relationships. And even if you’re arguing with someone you aren’t necessarily close to, you supposedly aren’t winning by potentially creating enemies. It’s best to leave everything on some sort of freaking neutral footing.

That sounds like what they do to kids these days, giving everyone a trophy so that no one comes out ahead as the actual winner. How could this motivate any child to want to excel, if there’s no acknowledgement of the hard work they put in to come out on top? Pure bullshit.

“It’s Impossible to Win an Argument” Pure Crap!

Another well-known “expert” on living the good life claims that winning an argument is not a thing. Can’t be done. The reason? The person who triumphs has made the other feel inferior and resentful. The loser’s pride is also probably bruised. Benjamin Franklin made some famous quote pointing out that opinions aren’t even changed when a person is unwillingly convinced in an opposite direction.

But what if the loser is an idiot who needs to be set straight? I consider myself to be doing people favors when I argue my points like making a slam dunk because the other person’s point of view is just totally stupid. I’m like a know-it-all but in a good way, since I don’t argue unless I know what the hell I’m talking about.

“Choose Relationship Over Argument” Bah!

If you lose a friendship or a lover over an argument, obviously it wasn’t a relationship worth having. That was true in all three of my unfortunate marriages. They’ve no doubt figured out long ago that I was right and they were wrong. Yep, yep, yep. I do miss my kids, though.



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