Heavy Cotton T-Shirt
The kind of swag you’ve got isn’t exactly typical. The paparazzi isn’t necessarily going to be following you around from coffee shop to coffee shop. Party because you don’t go to coffee shops you get yours at home. And partly because you don’t really leave your home to begin with. But you’ve still got swag dammit. Those aliens you zapped on Friday night know it. And every sucker with a head set sure as hell knows it too. So keep doing your thing you greasy ball of swag. Buy this T-Shirt and represent. And then maybe take a shower. In that order.